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24 September 2020
Iraq
Nearly there now
September 17, 2020 by TLO in Iraq
Shat Al Arab Hotel,
Basrah
Iraq
10th Sep 2005
Dear All,
As I raced past the forty days and forty nights left in the wilderness I couldn’t help feeling a little bit of sympathy for old JC. Not long now and I am back in the happy throng of London, I think it is something like 32 days till I am scheduled to be home. Worryingly, I am in charge of flying my whole regiment home, and even at this stage, I don’t know when my own flight is. You think Queezyjet provide a bad service, you haven’t really traveled till you have been anywhere with the RAF, having been subject to one flight home, I can’t wait for the next one
All flights are subject to a 24-hour change of timing in either direction, up to 25 hours before the scheduled flight time. The RAF Tristars that we use were all built in the ’60s, and have had little to update them since, I believe the odd oil change might have happened and the carpets get Hoovered every year, but other than that there is little gaffa tape and string can’t fix. All passengers must ensure they have their helmets and body armour with them when they board the plane, this is so we can wear them during takeoff and landing, quite how a thin helmet is meant to save us if we collide with the ground at 500mph no one knows, but we all sit there like World War 2 glider passengers about to jump into Normandy.
By far the most ridiculous element is the security checks. Through the x-ray machine we pass, each of us beeping merrily. “Do you have any metal in your pockets, sir?” Always seems a bit silly when I am carrying a gun in my right hand! They have confiscated nail files of female soldiers carrying weapons. One soldier was questioned quite aggressively as to why he had a bayonet with him, they simply couldn’t understand why we all thought his answer of “It goes on the end of this gun” was so funny.
The blindingly inefficient RAF are truly a wonder to watch, in order to leave Basrah you have to spend 4 hours in a very hot room sat on a hot marble floor with no air-conditioning. We will then be herded into another room this one also has no aircon and is just a little bit hotter than the sun, however, they provide you with seats in Room 2, only enough for the first six people to sit on, but its a start. After spending two hours in room two, they will call us all forward to move to Room 3. Room 3 is the piece de resistance, a very small room, with very large windows and a glass roof, no aircon. The temperature in there is not safe for cooking chips but we will all be made to sit in there for at least 1 hour before being allowed to board the plane. There is no point to any of these moves, but what it does mean is that we are all six stone lighter and the plane can actually take off.
But with that to look forward to, it really is starting to feel like the end of my little trip away. The excitement of coming home to the chill of October is starting to sink in, I am especially excited about sustained periods of rain, log fires, red wine, and real food. There is of course nothing I look forward to more than seeing all my friends and family again, but that goes without saying.
In the meantime we seem to have stirred up a bit of hornet’s nest in the city at the moment, and the locals are being particularly tiresome. They seem adamant to make the back end of our holiday in Basrah as miserable as possible for us. In order to counter the new heightened threat, we have moved to what the Americans would probably call DEFCON 2. I have absolutely no idea what that actually means, but it sounds damn cool. To us, it means wearing body armour all day and sweating just a little bit more, both in anticipation of inevitable attacks and from the relentless heat.
You have all been distracted by this email for far too long now, so back to work you must go, I’m off to play volleyball whilst dodging mortar bombs.
Hope you are well, see you soon.
All my love
T
x
Coldstream Guards Mortar Iraq

The letter above is part of a series of letters I sent home from Basrah, Iraq in 2005 republished here for the first time since they got sent exactly 15 years ago (I will try and sync them with the real dates sent)

I suppose this was my very first attempt at blogging, before blogging was ever a thing!

I was a Captain in The British Army at the time and was in the middle of an unremarkable 7 month posting to Basrah surrounded by the remarkable men of the Coldstream Guards, my regiment for 7 years. I loved and adored my time in the Coldstream and look back at all the fun and silliness with incredibly fond memories. I hope these letters go some way to show the amusing side of our tour, they are not designed to be a factual representation of the hard work, pain and suffering that so many endured. They do not talk of the ultimate sacrifice made by too many of our soldiers during that extraordinary year.

Nulli Secundus.

The Coldstream Guards Capstar
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Super excited to be launching a real life race team @guinchoracing to take on some of the worlds wildest and most extreme rallies. I have now become a @ourmotorsportuk qualified rally driver with @skeggsmatt and we now have our first race car, a Range Rover classic V8, to convert into a Dakar rally spec weapon. 

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Super excited to be launching a real life race team @guinchoracing to take on some of the worlds wildest and most extreme rallies. I have now become a @ourmotorsportuk qualified rally driver with @skeggsmatt and we now have our first race car, a Range Rover classic V8, to convert into a Dakar rally spec weapon. Follow @guinchoracing for more updates as we get ready for racing across Africa in 2026 in the @africaecorace - Sponsorship opportunities launching soon!!! #GuinchoRacing, #RallyRaidIberia, #OffRoadPortugal, #SpainRallyRaid, #MoroccoDesertRally, #DakarDreaming, #Classic4x4Adventure, #RangeRoverRally, #IberianRallyTeam #AfricaEcoRaceReady, #travel #adventure
1 month ago
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1/9
After a little silence on insta there has been some breeding, now there are three!! Ventura will always have a special place in my heart, but now with Dudley the Series nearing completion suddenly selling him feels very hard, maybe too hard? The newest recruit, Roger the Range Rover is currently undergoing a conversion to become @guinchoracing first race car ready for 2026 inaugural rally season (watch this space)
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#rangeroverv8 #defendertd5 #series3 #v8 #landroverseries #beachrunner #vintagelandrover #landylove #landroverclub #landroverlove #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #reborn #refurbish #restore #revitalise #guinchoracing
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After a little silence on insta there has been some breeding, now there are three!! Ventura will always have a special place in my heart, but now with Dudley the Series nearing completion suddenly selling him feels very hard, maybe too hard? The newest recruit, Roger the Range Rover is currently undergoing a conversion to become @guinchoracing first race car ready for 2026 inaugural rally season (watch this space) . . . #rangeroverv8 #defendertd5 #series3 #v8 #landroverseries #beachrunner #vintagelandrover #landylove #landroverclub #landroverlove #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #reborn #refurbish #restore #revitalise #guinchoracing
3 months ago
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2/9
Meet Dudley. A new member of the 4 Low fleet. This one getting a full beach runner restoration with the intention of maybe, just maybe being sold in the future. Follow along for all kinds of DIY cock ups as I try and revive this little legend.
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#series3 #landroverseries #beachrunner #vintagelandrover #landylove #landroverclub #landroverlove #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #reborn #refurbish #restore #revitalise #revive
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Meet Dudley. A new member of the 4 Low fleet. This one getting a full beach runner restoration with the intention of maybe, just maybe being sold in the future. Follow along for all kinds of DIY cock ups as I try and revive this little legend. . . . #series3 #landroverseries #beachrunner #vintagelandrover #landylove #landroverclub #landroverlove #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #reborn #refurbish #restore #revitalise #revive
1 year ago
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3/9
A highlight reel from @marocchallenge in March. An epic week introducing us to the world of racing, rally driving and a whole new world of fun. Full video on YouTube (link in bio) - more of this will be coming soon I am sure!!
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#marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
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A highlight reel from @marocchallenge in March. An epic week introducing us to the world of racing, rally driving and a whole new world of fun. Full video on YouTube (link in bio) - more of this will be coming soon I am sure!! . . . #marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
4/9
Day 6 - final race day, a complex day focussed on careful navigation. We started by cocking it up from the start when I entered yesterday’s start line into the GPS…so we were late for the briefing and got penalised before we even began.

We set off to be the fastest, as have decided that the rules are for sissies, but still managed to miss a few checkpoints and finish rather unimpressive 30th today. (Still fastest time to finish!)

Insane drive North to Rabat, over the snowy Atlas Mountains through a blizzard. Our windscreen wiper broke on day 1 so I had to MacGyver some bungee cord and a rope into a makeshift wiper. Somehow it held and we made it across the mountains and snow storms and into extraordinary rolling green countryside. Breath taking scenery mixed with mental Moroccan drivers skidding into ditches around us.

Only a casual 12 hour journey home in the rain tomorrow to finish this epic adventure.
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#marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
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Day 6 - final race day, a complex day focussed on careful navigation. We started by cocking it up from the start when I entered yesterday’s start line into the GPS…so we were late for the briefing and got penalised before we even began. We set off to be the fastest, as have decided that the rules are for sissies, but still managed to miss a few checkpoints and finish rather unimpressive 30th today. (Still fastest time to finish!) Insane drive North to Rabat, over the snowy Atlas Mountains through a blizzard. Our windscreen wiper broke on day 1 so I had to MacGyver some bungee cord and a rope into a makeshift wiper. Somehow it held and we made it across the mountains and snow storms and into extraordinary rolling green countryside. Breath taking scenery mixed with mental Moroccan drivers skidding into ditches around us. Only a casual 12 hour journey home in the rain tomorrow to finish this epic adventure. . . . #marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
1 year ago
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5/9
Day 5 - a rally special stage around Erg Chebbi dunes. Slightly less challenging terrain meant we had a super fast somewhat terrifying run today. Over taking from 12th all the way to the front, I have never felt closer to being in an actual rally car in my life. Totally awesome and brilliant fun, sideways, jumping, power sliding our way through the dunes and gravel tracks. 

The car ran beautifully and I can’t imagine how she survived the brutal thrashing the speed we gave her, poor thing! We smashed the competition today finishing a massive 8mins ahead of all cars in the whole raid. Sadly we still got caught speeding 4 times, so placed 13th despite being the fastest. 

Stupid rules, we obvs win on lad points.
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#marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
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Day 5 - a rally special stage around Erg Chebbi dunes. Slightly less challenging terrain meant we had a super fast somewhat terrifying run today. Over taking from 12th all the way to the front, I have never felt closer to being in an actual rally car in my life. Totally awesome and brilliant fun, sideways, jumping, power sliding our way through the dunes and gravel tracks. The car ran beautifully and I can’t imagine how she survived the brutal thrashing the speed we gave her, poor thing! We smashed the competition today finishing a massive 8mins ahead of all cars in the whole raid. Sadly we still got caught speeding 4 times, so placed 13th despite being the fastest. Stupid rules, we obvs win on lad points. . . . #marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
1 year ago
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6/9
Day 4 - Our fastest day so far, no car trouble, only one pee stop and a great track that took us through mountain passes, gravel plains and soft sandy routes. Superb fun with no wind and no sand storms!

Longest single dune climb I have ever done (7km) of slow incline up a big sand monster, car started to struggle near the top but made it no problem.

Awesome technical dune section that allowed us to pass the whole pack and meant we finished in first place, but sadly a navigation error (my fault) meant we missed a Waypoint and placed 12th. Maybe tomorrow with a day of dunes might bring a top ten place!
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#marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
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Day 4 - Our fastest day so far, no car trouble, only one pee stop and a great track that took us through mountain passes, gravel plains and soft sandy routes. Superb fun with no wind and no sand storms! Longest single dune climb I have ever done (7km) of slow incline up a big sand monster, car started to struggle near the top but made it no problem. Awesome technical dune section that allowed us to pass the whole pack and meant we finished in first place, but sadly a navigation error (my fault) meant we missed a Waypoint and placed 12th. Maybe tomorrow with a day of dunes might bring a top ten place! . . . #marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
7/9
Day 3 - Billed as a nice easy day, started well with epic landscapes and bone jangling rocks. Within a blink of an eye a wild sand storm enveloped us and reduced our speed to 10kmh for many hours.

We had GPS issues (my fault) and as such found ourselves facing the wrong way into traffic, chilled, and then were forced to always follow someone else to the finish line. We came 17th today, so are improving!

Ventura running smoothly with her new heart pumping diesel, just an increase in squeaks, bangs, knocks and pieces falling off. She still goes one! Tomorrow we aim for top 10.
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#marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
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Day 3 - Billed as a nice easy day, started well with epic landscapes and bone jangling rocks. Within a blink of an eye a wild sand storm enveloped us and reduced our speed to 10kmh for many hours. We had GPS issues (my fault) and as such found ourselves facing the wrong way into traffic, chilled, and then were forced to always follow someone else to the finish line. We came 17th today, so are improving! Ventura running smoothly with her new heart pumping diesel, just an increase in squeaks, bangs, knocks and pieces falling off. She still goes one! Tomorrow we aim for top 10. . . . #marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
8/9
Bivouac - God knows how many people in one tented camp for the night. Maybe 400 people, 200 tents, amazing food, ice cold beer and a welcome retreat from the endless Sand storm that raged all night.

Garage Iriki set themselves up in support of @marocchallenge and do the most incredible job of piecing all the broken wagons back together. I needed only the smallest assistance to fit a new fuel pump. I’d liken it to heart surgery in a sand storm…I was the anaesthetist, I thought it best to let the pro do the technical stuff. We nailed it and the car was back in the road in a blink of a sand filled eye.
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#marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
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Bivouac - God knows how many people in one tented camp for the night. Maybe 400 people, 200 tents, amazing food, ice cold beer and a welcome retreat from the endless Sand storm that raged all night. Garage Iriki set themselves up in support of @marocchallenge and do the most incredible job of piecing all the broken wagons back together. I needed only the smallest assistance to fit a new fuel pump. I’d liken it to heart surgery in a sand storm…I was the anaesthetist, I thought it best to let the pro do the technical stuff. We nailed it and the car was back in the road in a blink of a sand filled eye. . . . #marocchallenge #marochallengespring2024 #landrover110 #td5 #dualcab #defender110 #theadventuretruck #landylove #defender #greenlane #landroverclub #td5mafia #defendertd5 #landroverlove #dcpu #adventuretruck #landroverlifestyle #landroverphotos #landroveroflisbon #defender_life_style #venturatruck #travel #adventure
1 year ago
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9/9
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