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Opinion
Disappointing ourselves
January 7, 2021 by TLO in Opinion

It feels odd to brag about going in to the office, but in these funny old times you have to polish every turd. So, at the start of this week I skipped into the office with that feeling only a fresh pair of socks from Father Christmas and a set of New Years resolutions no one would ever dream of completing already giving me anxiety.

This year to mark the end of that mega f’wit that was 2020 I have set myself a set of unachievable resolutions that would make even the most positive person a bit uneasy.

As I was writing these Archie asked me what a set of resolutions was for, I couldn’t really think of a better answer than “It’s a to do list for the first 3 days of January” so here is mine for you to not read, and for me not to achieve.

  1. Lose 10% of my weight by Easter. Not sure if this or scaling the North face of The Eiger in a pair of Garfield slippers is more achievable.
  2. Travel to wilder places. Assuming the COVID fairies don’t cock this up there is a degree of possibility here. (Especially considering the borders to Saudi have reopened, and any prospect of coming to the UK has been firmly quashed until the madness stops.)
  3. Drink less Gin. To be honest I don’t have the slightest intention of doing this, I am just padding out the list.
  4. Read more. Once I have exhausted Andy McNab  or Jeremy Clarkson’s latest twaddle I am really left staring blankly into space. I aim to change this.
  5. Spend less time on my phone. 
  6. Write more. You lucky people. I am actually working on a novel at the moment, but it’s Top Secret right now…you may or may not see some test chapters in months to come.
  7. Play with the children more. To be clear I mean my own children…
  8. Learn to slackline – In case I want to run away with the circus.

Setting yourself up for failure is a sensible way to start the year, as managing our own horrendous disappointment is part of life, but really why do we bother with these lists? A more realistic and achievable list might not inspire such a sense of potential as the above, but maybe it would at least be achievable.

  1. Lose something.
  2. Look at wild places on my phone.
  3. Drink gin
  4. Finish a book

Maybe I will start with these, if I nail it and come out the end of January having achieved any of these I’ll keep you informed. But it seems we are all happier disappointing ourselves, so maybe I simply won’t do these things either…watch this space.

Incidentally – The pictures in this post are entirely unrelated. I just like them.

3 Comments
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There are 3 comments on this post
  1. Caroline Cormack
    January 08, 2021, 10:18 am
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    I read over 100 books last year so maybe mine should be to read less! Sleep more and live in hope if seeing my beloved family. I think you forgot the most important. Write my blog each week so that I give my Mother in Law happy. Xxx

  2. Ian
    January 08, 2021, 1:09 pm
    Leave reply

    Becoming a stand-up comic would be a readily achievable resolution judging by the hilarity of these posts. They are seriously funny! I love the gin assessment- and agree, although it’s whisky for me. I’d recommend finishing a book – and suggest Steven Pressfield’s ‘Gates of Fire’ which is a thrilling novel about the Spartans and the battle of Thermopylae. Unputdownable. Oh, and do stick to your own kids – their the easiest to recognise. Keep the posts coming. Ian

  3. Ru
    January 09, 2021, 12:20 pm
    Leave reply

    You should write a book

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