It feels odd to brag about going in to the office, but in these funny old times you have to polish every turd. So, at the start of this week I skipped into the office with that feeling only a fresh pair of socks from Father Christmas and a set of New Years resolutions no one would ever dream of completing already giving me anxiety.
This year to mark the end of that mega f’wit that was 2020 I have set myself a set of unachievable resolutions that would make even the most positive person a bit uneasy.
As I was writing these Archie asked me what a set of resolutions was for, I couldn’t really think of a better answer than “It’s a to do list for the first 3 days of January” so here is mine for you to not read, and for me not to achieve.
- Lose 10% of my weight by Easter. Not sure if this or scaling the North face of The Eiger in a pair of Garfield slippers is more achievable.
- Travel to wilder places. Assuming the COVID fairies don’t cock this up there is a degree of possibility here. (Especially considering the borders to Saudi have reopened, and any prospect of coming to the UK has been firmly quashed until the madness stops.)
- Drink less Gin. To be honest I don’t have the slightest intention of doing this, I am just padding out the list.
- Read more. Once I have exhausted Andy McNab or Jeremy Clarkson’s latest twaddle I am really left staring blankly into space. I aim to change this.
- Spend less time on my phone.
- Write more. You lucky people. I am actually working on a novel at the moment, but it’s Top Secret right now…you may or may not see some test chapters in months to come.
- Play with the children more. To be clear I mean my own children…
- Learn to slackline – In case I want to run away with the circus.
Setting yourself up for failure is a sensible way to start the year, as managing our own horrendous disappointment is part of life, but really why do we bother with these lists? A more realistic and achievable list might not inspire such a sense of potential as the above, but maybe it would at least be achievable.
- Lose something.
- Look at wild places on my phone.
- Drink gin
- Finish a book
Maybe I will start with these, if I nail it and come out the end of January having achieved any of these I’ll keep you informed. But it seems we are all happier disappointing ourselves, so maybe I simply won’t do these things either…watch this space.
Incidentally – The pictures in this post are entirely unrelated. I just like them.